Q:† Did you pay your taxes?
††††† We overpaid.
††††† We will get $69 back.
Q:† Donít spend it all in one place.
A:† No.† A toaster oven.
Q:† You have all the modern conveniences.
††††† A hot water heater.
††††† A microwave.
A:† The microwave makes your hair fall out.† I call it the Radar Range.
Q:† Donít stand too close to it.
A:† The same room.
††††† If I am gazing into a computer screen the computer screen is beaming electrons into me.
Q:† Soon, you can quit.
A:† Sooner rather than later.
Q:† A chimneysweep got cancer of the scrotum.
A:† Soot wart.† The first occupational carcinoma.
††††† What we do kills us, eventually.† Doing it kills us.
Q:† Daily typewriting killed him.
A:† He had a good run.
††††† I think I would conclude (1) it did kill me.
††††† But (2) I had a good run.
Q:† Blessed is the person who has found his or her work.
A:† You have to do something.
††††† Or youíll sit in a recliner gunning through the channels, looking for something better to watch than what is on.
Q:† Lies and bullshit.
A:† Political propaganda and commercial advertisements.
††††† Sports talk shows.
††††† The golfing channel.
††††† I mean, playing golf is bad enough.
††††† But watching it on television?
Q:† He died peacefully watching golf on television.
A:† He died in his sleep.
††††† He went to sleep and didnít wake up.
Q:† He died at his typewriter, writing.
††††† His head fell into the monitor screen.
A:† He got up to take a leak and didnít come back.
††††† He fixed breakfast for himself and Brenda.
Q:† Seven-grain cereal with yogurt and honey.
A:† Eggs, grits, and side meat.† Toast and jelly.
††††† Perhaps a fruit bread with cream cheese.† Nuts and dried apricots.
Q:† Add ďParadiseĒ to the end of of McGoonís Last Book:† Daily Typewriting and call it over.
Q:† You didnít quit.† You finished.
††††† Write ď-30-Ē at the bottom.
Q:† A total professional.
A:† A total professional.
Q:† That is, a complete amateur.
A:† Didnít sell a word.
Q:† Didnít win a grant, or a literary prize.
A:† I gave myself a glass stopper off a Worcestershire sauce bottle.
Q:† The Oxditch Prize.
A:† When the ox is in the ditch, one rolls up his sleeves and gets to work.
Q:† You put it in the end of your dick when you piss in the Amazon River.
A:† To keep the platyhelminthes from swimming up your urethra, into your liver, and giving you schistosomiasis, or liver fluke disease.
††††† Women wear a tanga, or vagina cover.
††††† The tanga is also the name of a bikini in Rio.
A:† I think a color picture adds something.
Q:† So does a samba whistle.
A:† I studied the kandomblť in Brazil in college.
Q:† Yes, for a Directed Individual Study (DIS) on nativistic movements.
A:† And now I have a coterie of steadfast readers, the Buzzard Cult.
Q:† Low-one-, mid-one-figure.
A:† A cult is small.
Q:† Cult writer.
Q:† Actually, itís funny.
A:† It is.
††††† When I think about it I laugh.
Q:† Claude Lťvi-Strauss writes about the folly of ambition.
A:† If Tristes Tropiques had been a novel, instead of a memoir, it would have won the Prix Goncourt.
Q:† It took the form it took.
A:† I donít know what form this one is.
Q:† Thatís good.
A:† Yes.† All of them.† Any of them.
Q:† Daily typewriting.
Q:† I think itís a novel, like Ulysses.
A:† One day in Leopold Bloomís life, walking around Dublin.
Q:† Samuel Beckett knew where to get the best oysters in Paris.
A:† Molloy, Malone Dies, and The Unnameable are funny.